So I have noticed 2 things today that got on my nerves about myself.
1~ Well there is a guy who I have "fallen" for. But the truth is that I know things would never work out that way for us... They just wouldn't. He has led sucha different life from me. He has always been in the church.. or at least that is how it seems to me.. Which is wonderful and I am not knocking it in anyway.. But he and I as similiar enough we can be good friends.. But just different enought that it would never work. That and the honest to God truth is that even if there was that slight chance I will always think of the way he looked at someone else.. Knowing that he would just be settling if he were to ever end up with me.. I dont want a guy that settles for me.. I want one that feels he has to have me :) So why is it that I become infatuated so quickly over guys.. Is it a trait I have kept with myself since I was younger. I remember having this problem in high school too.. Why is it that I feel like I have to have the one guy.. I should be dating many narrowing down to what is a perfect thing.. Or with out sounding cheesy who completes me. lol Anyways I always thought that was a pretty cheesy line, but more so now then ever I think I understand what thetrue meaning is behind it.. Not just a cheesy line from a movie.
2~ Let me explain my story then I will go into the problem..
So tonight I went to my Aunt Cindy's house. Afterwards when I was on my way home me and Tia stopped and got something to eat at Wendy's. My problem is that just 2 days ago I was bloggin about how I was going to lose this weight.... But how the hell am I suppose to do that if I dont have the self control to not stop and eat at freaking 11:30 at night. IF I cant stop drinking soda. So The thing I noticed is I am a person who says one thing and will do another..... I hate that about myself! I want to have the self control to be able to be healthy and live a long life and get to do all the things that life has to offer me. BUt then again how do you control a addiction that is a nessicary thing to have to live. If I could just stop eating then it wouldn't be a problem for me. I was able to kick drinking and smoking by simply stopping. But I cant stop eating.. It is something I have to have to live... I just have a problem stopping with what I need.. Cause I want to have more... or at least that is what my brain makes me think, but my body is like OVERLOAD!!! Even in part of my brain I know that what I am doin is not helping me in the least, But i cant stop.. Grr I have an addictive personality I have decided. I need to always be careful what I do cause I can easily be hookewd without warning.. Maybe the trick is to eat food that doesnt taste good to me... I dont know
3~ Yes I know I said to things but the is a rant session on myself I think...
I have found that I tend to be a little passive-aggressive. There is a guy at work who I cannot stand. And behind his ack I tend to talk alot of crap on him.. I only do it to certain people... rant to then I mean.... But that doesn't make it ok either. Anyways to his face I am nice and act like he is funny or whatever he is trying to be like that day. I am a jerk people.. Really i need to stop that. Who am I to judge him. I have no idea where he has been or what obsticales likfe has thrown at him. I am not helping anyone by being a jerk.
4~ I think that Guys are stupied! Really there has to be a stupied gene that they have. And if they dont have that gene they are either taken or they are gay.. my proof or this... I all my firend that are married have a great guy to cuddle with every night... The on e person who I love to death and they would never go out with me I found out he was GAY!! And then the 2 guys I have every really seriously dated where jerks! Ahhhh I wonder some days if I am even suppose to end up with somebody if if I am going to be that crazy neighbor who has 20 cats and my house will always smeel like cat poop.... Anyways this is mainly just a rant session really.. I like to read over my blogs.. it is kinda like my journal. I keep alot of thoughts and stuff here. I am a pretty open person.. I have nothing to hide from anyone.. Anyways I have got to go.. i work in the morning
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P.S. A new thought as I reread what I just wrote...
1~ I cannot spell
and
2~ I must bipolor cause my mood swings back and forth in this blog... Maybe I need to go see a theripist... hmm
Sheena your so freakin cute!
1) That guy you like totally deserves you! And it doesnt matter that you guys lived different lives! Look at me and John, I wouldnt be with him today if I didnt want to be with him cause of his past!
2)You are beautiful and will find your prince one day! Yes pretty much every man is a jerk, and you will find the one that is less of a jerk than all the others one day.. Just wait for it and it will come! Love you lots
Hey girl! I have to say this cuz it happened to me while I was pregnant and it was crazy!... K so i've always always loved icecream and chocolate, but when I got pregnant I didnt crave those things anymore, it was wierd...and i'm not saying you should go get pregnant lol! but what i mean is, after my appetite came back I had a new way of eating and I actually liked getting the chicken sandwiches at wendys and mcdonalds instead of the other stuff! So I know its tough at first, but I actually think you'll start liking the foods you think you hate right now if you just stick to them for the next few months you go out to eat! YOU CAN DO IT!
As for guys...lol just be patient, have fun with the ones that come your way, but not too much fun right Ü, and then if they want to marry you, give it serious thought and prayer. In the mean time, dont worry so much about it! You're still young. I dont see you ever owning a bunch of smelly cats lol.
Love ya girl!
It's so strange. I was reading your blog and wondering if I wrote it about myself...
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